Milan: A Person, Place, and Thing

Originally posted in Summer 2019 and removed in December 2019. Back now in all its glory.

The playbill for my new play is available. Please check it out. It is a one man show.

It details my life, from my time as a student, to my time as a Twitch streamer who got banned from the platform due to my religious beliefs. Long story short, my religion requires me to be naked around cameras and stream bootleg Hollywood blockbusters.

Here’s the playbill artwork:

why must I suffer? milan ciganovic
When life gives you a modeling job, ask life for a gift receipt.

Pokémon Go-ing to a Cemetery to Catch ‘Em All

Originally posted sometime in late 2018 and removed December 2019. Posted once again due to recent events. I’m unsure if it is still a gym in Pokemon GO.

I completely forgot about this little gem from my trip to Kingston and Ottawa last year. I wanted to see the burial place of Canada’s first Prime Minister because it was within walking distance of where I was staying.

Keep in mind this was around the time that Sir John A Macdonald’s problematic legacy started being re-examined (to a point where the Government of Scotland scrubbed all references to him from their websites).

Anyway, on with the story. So I walk over to the Cataraqui Cemetery with my sister to visit Sir Macdonald’s grave site hoping it would be easy to find.

Guess what? We didn’t even need to use the signage to find our way. Having opened up Pokémon Go to hatch some eggs while walking to the grave, we noticed that Sir Macdonald’s final resting place is a Pokémon Go gym.

I cannot decide whether or not this was in bad taste, but you’d better believe I got myself a shiny gym badge. I’m just disappointed there were no Gengars or Gastlys.

Also, “Greetings from Sir John A. Macdonald grave site” would be a pretty funny thing to see on a greeting or postcard.

pokemon go kingston ontario canada
You either die a man instrumental in the unification and creation of a new country, or you die and then have your legacy re-examined as racist and genocidal, and then also have your grave-site become an arena for virtual dog-fighting.

Ruminations Upon A Semi-Successful Resurrection.

As the world slowly turns into a low-rent Roger Corman-esque Mad Max knockoff, and my mutual funds start deflate like the cushion I am currently sitting on, here are some musings to mark my triumphant return to the internet:

  • Don’t compromise your personality and sense of humour for individuals who fail to even respond to a simple follow-up email. Many thanks for your “sage” advice;
  • I should’ve bought gold;
  • The recipe to successfully debating a political opponent? Just ad hominem;
  • Hüsker Dü or Hüsker Dön’t, there is no Hüsker Trÿ;
  • Jane Eyre’s hair by Jane Hare’s Hair Care;
  • I’ve spent the last five years trying to write the great American novel, but every time I finish, I realize that I have yet again unknowingly re-written the script to the first Shrek movie;
  • Won’t anyone please support my French-language cover band, Parlement-Funkadèlique?
  • When I agreed to “-’til death do us part,” I honestly never thought I’d live past the age of 23;
  • The hardest part of being so handsome, wealthy and world famous, is that I get easily nauseated after so much time in virtual reality;
  • I’m the rest of the heathens that Nelly warned you about all those years ago…

ASUS Presents: My Pet Rock 2020

You ever get extremely excited about something, only to end up having it stress you out into a coma-like state? That’s what happened to me when I failed to successfully upgrade my aging PC.

Last year I upgraded my graphics card (GPU), and I had also previously upgraded to solid state hard drives (SSDs). This was a good start, but I have been primarily bottle-necked by my ancient CPU and motherboard. I’m talking about 2013-era hardware.

This was to change when I got a good deal on an AMD Ryzen 2700x CPU (8 cores/16 threads) and a compatible AM4 socket ASUS motherboard. Things were looking up. The scene was set for my computer to enter the future (of 2018-era hardware to be exact.)

Here’s what my toolset for working with electronics looks like. The anti-static wristband shows that I’m a professional. The beer says otherwise.

After putting it all together I was pretty stoked. It looked great and very clean cable-wise.

The very first time I booted it up, before even doing a fresh install of Windows, the bios screen froze. That should’ve been a sign of things to come. After a fresh Windows install and set-up I started getting blue screens of death (BSODs) for a number of issues. Everything from drivers to the GPU.

This was really upsetting. After a whole day and a half of trying to troubleshoot issues, I figured it was a faulty motherboard. Thanks Asus.

I’ve had an Asus GPU fail, issues with an Asus CD drive, and the expensive Asus laptop I bought for university had the motherboard fry just after the warranty expired. You’d think I would’ve learned by now.

Thankfully, Amazon has a good return/exchange policy. I exchanged the CPU for a new one and returned the motherboard, waiting for a better deal on one from MSI (a company I trust.)

noctua ns012
Noctua is an amazing company.

In the meanwhile, I had to put together a Franskenstein PC from older parts, and I’m also waiting for parts from Nocuta to make my older cpu cooler to work on my new cpu. Noctua sent them free from Germany. Many thanks. Noctua is awesome.

That’s about it. If you ever wanted to see a grown Serbian man shaking out of pure anxiety and nausea, you should’ve seen me during this ordeal.

Imagination Is Real 2003

2003 was the last year I, Milan Ciganovic, apparently had imagination. I would’ve argued it was 2008, but I don’t have a bookmark with my face on it stating that as a fact.

Arguably, this is when I started not being cute anymore.
I can’t believe my parents paid for this.

Thanks Nintendo! Joy Con Drift Issue “Repaired”!

I bought my Nintendo Switch a few months after it originally came out in March 2017. Like a lot of other owners, I began having issues with the the controller(s) receiving phantom inputs and behaving oddly. It really sucked.

I contacted Nintendo of Canada and filled out a service request. Even though the controllers were out of warranty, Nintendo sent me the information needed to send them in for free repairs (probably given the negative press and discussions of a class action lawsuit.)

I sent the controllers on August 7th, 2019:

joy con repair
Godspeed you little bastards.

It took a week for the package to arrive in Vancouver for repairs. It then took a further 2+ weeks before the controllers were accepted for repairs. I was still able to play Mario Maker 2 with my 8BitDo controller in the meanwhile.

I finally got a shipping notice on September 4th, 2019. A SINGLE day later, I received a parcel from Vancouver:

joy con repair
The Mario Party stickers prevent me from calling this a “goody bag.”

They sent me brand new joy con controllers (MSRP $90 CAD), some Mario Party stickers, a Splatoon 2 pin, and a poster for the upcoming Pokemon games.

Thanks Nintendo!

Happy Birthday Thor!

Legendo! Majstore!

My very good bud Thor Ciganovic just turned 10 years old. That’s 56 in cat years.

Named after the Norse god, and not the Marvel hero, Thor is an O.G. deserving of constant chin rubs and noms.

In honour of the greatest cat of all time, here’s a collection of photos of the man of the hour:

  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
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  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • playstation classic thor
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic
  • Thor-Ciganovic

And here is the song that was playing when he first arrived to our home:

Happy Birthday Marija!

Today is my sister Marija’s birthday. She is the best.

Bow down to the one true queen:

marija ciganovic
A rebel queen since the age of one.

Happy birthday to a living legend.

The Machines Will Rise Up Because of Bad Art

Google’s at it again. It’s called Quick, Draw! and this “fun” new “game” is definitely not going to be used for some nefarious purpose later down the line. You’ve got 20 seconds to draw a predetermined object, and Google’s neural network has to guess what you’re drawing. It does this until it guesses correctly or until the time runs out.

Basically, neural networks and machine learning are the future, and you can help our future machine overlords out by teaching them through bad art. Come on and dig your own grave!

Here are some examples:

I’m waiting for the these neural networks to learn Simpsons references and ask me to draw “dignity.” Welcome to the future, meatbag.