With all the awfulness and uncertainty in the world right now, you can at least take comfort in knowing that Joke-tober is almost over.
1.) My only guess as to why I wasn’t raptured is because I overslept- after a busy night of doing crimes and indulging in paganism.
2.) The rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated. The burning building I fell from while rescuing a group of orphans was only 65 storeys tall, not 70.
3.) Local Man, Ever The Optimist, Puts Off Making Funeral Arrangements Until 2021.
4.) I’ve always been DTF. Destined to fail! *Percusive Sting*
5.) I’m not waking up early just to fight a bird over a gross worm. Keep your stupid worm, bird! I’m going to sleep in and make a bagel pizza for lunch.