A Person, Place, and Thing

Ruminations Upon A Semi-Successful Resurrection.

As the world slowly turns into a low-rent Roger Corman-esque Mad Max knockoff, and my mutual funds start deflate like the cushion I am currently sitting on, here are some musings to mark my triumphant return to the internet:

  • Don’t compromise your personality and sense of humour for individuals who fail to even respond to a simple follow-up email. Many thanks for your “sage” advice;
  • I should’ve bought gold;
  • The recipe to successfully debating a political opponent? Just ad hominem;
  • Hüsker Dü or Hüsker Dön’t, there is no Hüsker Trÿ;
  • Jane Eyre’s hair by Jane Hare’s Hair Care;
  • I’ve spent the last five years trying to write the great American novel, but every time I finish, I realize that I have yet again unknowingly re-written the script to the first Shrek movie;
  • Won’t anyone please support my French-language cover band, Parlement-Funkadèlique?
  • When I agreed to “-’til death do us part,” I honestly never thought I’d live past the age of 23;
  • The hardest part of being so handsome, wealthy and world famous, is that I get easily nauseated after so much time in virtual reality;
  • I’m the rest of the heathens that Nelly warned you about all those years ago…
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