Thanks Nintendo! Joy Con Drift Issue “Repaired”!

I bought my Nintendo Switch a few months after it originally came out in March 2017. Like a lot of other owners, I began having issues with the the controller(s) receiving phantom inputs and behaving oddly. It really sucked.

I contacted Nintendo of Canada and filled out a service request. Even though the controllers were out of warranty, Nintendo sent me the information needed to send them in for free repairs (probably given the negative press and discussions of a class action lawsuit.)

I sent the controllers on August 7th, 2019:

joy con repair
Godspeed you little bastards.

It took a week for the package to arrive in Vancouver for repairs. It then took a further 2+ weeks before the controllers were accepted for repairs. I was still able to play Mario Maker 2 with my 8BitDo controller in the meanwhile.

I finally got a shipping notice on September 4th, 2019. A SINGLE day later, I received a parcel from Vancouver:

joy con repair
The Mario Party stickers prevent me from calling this a “goody bag.”

They sent me brand new joy con controllers (MSRP $90 CAD), some Mario Party stickers, a Splatoon 2 pin, and a poster for the upcoming Pokemon games.

Thanks Nintendo!

Nursery Paint Job Completed

nursery ideas
I call this nursery decor “Beelzebaby Worship.”

For when you want to raise a well-adjusted child who totally is not the spawn of the devil.

‘Funcle Huncle’: The Fun and Hunky Uncle

uncle Milan
I usually only get cake pops with surprise court summons on them. This is much better.

First I was called what sounded like “Uncle Ron”, but now I’ve become what sounds like “Uncle Mo-an”. As someone who definitely does not have any children, I’ll take it I guess. It beats being called “Deadbeat Daddy Milan” and/or “Where’s My Child Support Milan?”

Scheer/Kony 2019

kony scheer 2019
No, it does not make much sense. Yes, I find this really hilarious.

First of all, those running for Prime Minister do not have a running mate- and it especially would not be Kony. Still, this makes me laugh.

Secondly, I have zero love for Trudeau, but I really dislike Andrew Scheer and the regressive politics with which he is associated.

Also, I’m not one to judge people based on their physical attributes, but how can you expect me to trust someone who literally looks like a rat?

Outlander Jamie Fraser EXPOSED!!!

#notsponsoredcontent #nonsponcon #pleasedontsue #clickbait

Yeah, I went to St. Jacobs Farmers’ market. Yeah, I bought an Outlander-inspired necklace for my sister. Yes, the necklace was made in Scotland. Yes, I took a picture of my Mom with Jamie. And, yes, My sister was jealous that she did not get a picture with a James “Jamie” Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser standee.

jamie fraser milan ciganovic
Ladies often want to take pictures with standees of me as well…

Mo’ Rapillows, Mo’ Problems (and Mo’ Profit)

The first batch of totally real rapillows sold out for totes real. As such, here is a second batch of prototypes which will soon be found in my store.

1)

rapillows-overnight-celebrity
All my ass ever got me is ripped jeans and ruined surprise parties.

Man, Twista and early Kanye were such a great team.


2)

rapillows westside connection
Did I mention, I think about you when I’m clenchin’.

Ice Cube’s Westside Connection days were full of similarly romantic rhymes. As romantic as rhymes from a song called “Westward Ho” can be, I mean.


3)

biggie smalls pillow
Rhymes as hot as a Pontiac Fiero.

The first of two Notorious B.I.G. tributes. Also, this line is based on my life story.


4.)

biggie smalls pillow
Same.

The second of two Biggie tributes. Also based on my life story.

The NeverEnding Spam Story Part V: Falcor Rides Again

I’ve got discount spam at discount prices! I’m literally drowning in spam! Won’t you join me in the swirling pit of spam that is threatening to engulf the entire world around me? No? Well then I guess I’ll just have to throw you in myself.

Did she attend a funeral by any chance?

As opposed to bullies who wish me well?

Silki smoth skynn.

Hopefully it won’t give me Montezuma’s revenge instead.

“Milan, this is the Maury Povich show…” are the only words that would send a shiver up my spine.

How do you get almost killed?

My counterfeit genitalia… That’s what my wife used to call it…

“There’s anime on TV and beer in the fridge.”

Story of my (…friend’s) life.

Maybe I will, maybe I will.

Quite possibly the most unattractive email subject ever composed.

Why isn’t the lamestream media talking more about the dreaded boner plague?

Limpy lungs =)

Introducing RAP-illows (Trademark Pending)

As a rap fan, I’m very excited to introduce my lifelong passion project: RAP-illows (trademark pending)- the ill pillows with stitched-on rap lyrics.

I’m about to change the whole decorative pillow (as well as rap) game(s) forever. I’m talkin’ about a full on Silicon-Valley-disruption-type of paradigm shift.

Treat the rap and pillow lover in your life and check out some early prototypes:

1)

rap pillows fat joe
Fat Joe, Petey Pablo, and DJ Khaled share something in common.

Up first is a lyric from a Fat Joe classic from 2002.


2)

rap pillows richie rich
This line always makes me laugh. I quote it often.

Up next, Richie Rich steps up to the plate with a underrated 90s gem.


3)

jay z rap pillows
“Big Pimpin'” has some real good lyrics, but they’re too NSFW for my family-friendly image.

Jay Z (‘Jay-Zed’ here in Canada) is a master lyricist.


4)

tupac 2pac rap pillows
Who gave Tupac the right to rap about my life story?

Never forget about Tupac Shakur– a rap legend.

More prototypes to come very soon.